We all have been told that the path towards our dreams is paved by sacrifices that demand suffering but is this wide spread statement, which by now is common sense, actually true? While there’s no doubt that achieving big goals indeed requires one to commit many resources, ranging from time and energy to money and the help of others, in order to achieve the goal but the feeling associated with making a sacrifice is by no means a necessity to achieve insurmountable objectives.
It is said that undergoing hardship is not always a choice as we could involuntarily get involved with adversity; however, suffering is always a choice as it is not a result of our struggle with misfortune but rather a state of mind that makes us see ourselves as victims and interpret the situation as a cause for suffering. There is no doubt that a life devoid of problems simply doesn’t exist and even if it did most people would eventually come to resent it as seen through the researches that depict reduced life satisfaction among retirees who live their lives mostly in front of TV or in grocery stores as opposed the ones who take on new ventures or even go on as far as starting new hobbies if not careers.
The human mind is a problem solving tool and in the absence of meaningful problems to solve in order to advance one’s interest the mind loses its zest for living which could eventually cripple the individual’s motivation and cause him or her to see the world as a victim. Knowing this, it becomes a lot easier to understand why having problems in life is normal as well as necessary and this acknowledgement ultimately makes us less susceptible to experiencing negativity upon dealing with our day to day problems.
Most of us would admit that we love solving problems so long as they are the problems that we want to solve, yet in the majority of cases we undergo much more growth of character and skill upon dealing with problems that we don’t want as they inevitably push us out of our comfort zones and make us do things we don’t want to do hence the reason why we don’t like them in the first place. It is in this process of doing what we don’t like doing that we end up discovering some abilities that we never thought we had and such discoveries are usually the most satisfying and transcendental experiences of our lives that we rarely undergo if we were limited to only solving the problems that we like.
Nobody would wish for losing a job, being diagnosed with a serious ailment, having a fight with a family member, getting into an accident, having to wait for long periods for paperwork, or facing with a pandemic but such events in our lives are ironically the ones that teach us some of the most important lessons that we ever learn and can later use in other areas of our lives. It is by letting go of our resistance and accepting the situation as it is rather than as how it should have been that we stop suffering and promptly start taking action to improve the situation while learning invaluable lessons as we do so.
If you take a look back at your life you realize that the biggest changes in your life in most cases followed a major crisis or a sudden change that compelled you to do things you hadn’t done before or face with consequences you would have done almost anything to avoid. The reason behind this phenomenon is that we humans are creatures of habit for clear evolutionary reasons and as thus see every change or new problem as a threat to be avoided, alas our brains have not evolved to make us happy but rather to prolong our physical survival and this tendency can lead to great angst upon facing with unwanted or undesirable setbacks or obstacles.
The key out of this self-imposed prison is using this knowledge to aim for growth instead of excess comfort and transcendence instead of excess security and look at the issues that we are struggling with not as a waste but rather a chance for growing into a better version of ourselves. The individuals who harbor this belief tend to be far more resilient when things go south and actually experience more positive emotions as they go through the process of solving their problems and report increased levels of self-esteem whether they can successfully resolve the issue or not.
After all, it is progress that makes us exited and progress is the very byproduct of dealing with our problems with a growth mindset that makes us aware of the inevitable improvement in our physical and emotional strength along with our abilities and skills that we acquire as we go through the battles of life. That joy of growth is unmatched by any other joy in life and it is my sincere wish that you the reader will invite more of that joy into your life through your attitude upon facing with any and all unwanted dilemmas!
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Daniel Molgan Official 